Airplanes and truck stops - Travel made easy

What do a cross country flight, a long-haul trucking job and a pair of tighty-whities have in common?

All three require being willing to cram yourself into a tiny space for hours at a time. It’ll start out sort of comfortable but that won’t last long – you’ll just be kind of stuck in there, unable to move more than a few inches.  Sure, you can try to adjust.  Maybe stretch out one leg, wiggle it a bit.  Even if you find a bit of relief or a comfy spot that isn’t cramped, sticky or vaguely smelly, that too is fleeting. All of this while surrounded by total strangers who keep staring at you as you awkwardly adjust yourself. 

Sounds super fun, right? Well it does if “Violation of Human Rights” is fun for you. So why do we do any of those things?

For the flights, while they may be temporarily uncomfortable, air travel is a fantastically convenient and efficient method of travel. We humans looked at birds floating through the air, flying with a freedom we’d never before known and went “Psh. I can do that.” Over the following generations, we set out to understand just how flight works. Not only did we figure it out, but we invented whole new ways to throw hundreds of humans up in the air at once and propel them thousands of miles in a giant metal tube. Because, science. Most of us are willing to cram ourselves into a tiny space and deal with the impressively idiotic because it means that in the space of a single day we can travel from LA to New York. That sort of trip used to take weeks. Ever played Oregon Trail? Exactly. That’s why we deal with airplanes.

On the flip side, long-haul truckers serve an important, irreplaceable role in our economy hauling goods and information across the country. Because truckers are willing to put in those long hours staring down the hood of semi and deal with drivers who may or may not understand how lanes work, we have avocados in December and oranges in pretty much every other place that isn’t Florida. Truckers work hard to play hard and are the embodiment of the classic “Hard Workin’ Man.” They even have their own style of hat. And if you can get teenagers to willingly wear what you wear and they aren’t making fun of you with it, you are clearly doing something right with your life.

As for the tighty-whities, men’s briefs represent a continued evolution in…wait, nope.

They…um…yeah, we got nothing. They aren’t a status symbol, they protect nothing and other than maybe keeping your junk from getting caught in your zipper and serving as one more thin barrier between your butt cheeks and the rest of the world, they are kind of pointless.  Honestly, half the time they create more problems than they solve.  They get wadded up in the worst place and allow your boys to superglue themselves to your thigh meat. Then comes the jiggling and the wiggling and the poking to get them unstuck, which never works. Seriously, why do we still deal with traditional underwear?

Humans have done amazing things. We can fly. We can eat oranges in Canada. If we can figure out airplanes and the trucking industry, isn’t it time to rethink underoos? So, that’s what we did. We thought long and we thought hard. And somewhere in the depths of our brilliance, we found HappySacs; the new evolution in men’s nether-wear. Moisture wicking and not constricting, it’s like freeballing without the chafing risk. It eliminates crotch stank, bat wings and a host of other problems old school underwear has simply failed to address. For more information on how HappySacs work, click here. Ready to skip the wordy words and purchase yours now, great! Click here.

  • Lenny Larkin says...

    I need freedom now. Help me, I’m stuck and I can’t get up!

    On July 09, 2017

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