HappySacs Mean Happy Ladies Which Mean Really Happy Sacks
We've all been there. The sun has gone down and your company for the evening is definitely putting off all the signs that tonight is going to be a very good night. Maybe you took her to a nice dinner and a show. Perhaps danced. Perhaps you just hung out on the couch and binge-watched Gilmore Girls with her. (And by binge-watch we mean smile every time you felt her glance over at you.) No matter what led up to it, you are still lined up for an easy play into the goal zone.
She makes a move, you make a move; one thing leads to another. And then you have to break the moment because you have to wash up in the worst way. You rush to the bathroom, drop trousers and frantically splash and rub trying to get the day's dew and its poignant odor, off your balls. In the meantime you've left her in the other room. She's just sitting on the couch and your ball sweat stank issue is definitely killing the mood. (Let's be honest, just her mood, but we'll move on.)
The truth is science has made it so that your balls will sweat. There are sweat glands built right in and, for better or worse, those puppies are going to stay a bit moist. On a basic level, sweat is designed to help keep you cool. Think about when you climb out of the shower. Air blows across the water still on your skin and you feel a chill, even if it is warm in the room. That's what sweat does. It is your body's (and balls') way to keep cool. Your body knows to keep your beastie boys cool because that makes your tailed troops that much more efficient after deployment.
That's all fine and dandy but until loin cloths come back into style, ball sweat doesn't so much create coolness as swamp crotch. And that is never, ever cool. As your balls sweat, that moisture becomes a giant kiddie pool for all sorts of smell-creating bacteria. The same blokes who populate your arm pits, creating that really pleasant "eu du pit", hang out in your nether-zone, just waiting for your all-day sweat-fest to begin. Believe it or not, this bacteria calls your body home 24-7 and actually does good work for your body chemistry. While stinky, they help prevent the bad types of bacteria from getting into places they have no business being.
Remember that lovely thing you left sitting on the couch? You might have to keep her waiting just a bit longer. You already know splashing water and rubbing a bit doesn't get the stank out of your arm pit fur. Since the same bacteria have taken up residence around your man tools, it isn't going to work there either. You are going to have to break out the soap and really lather to get that fresh scent emanating from your anaconda and his eggs.
Or, you could cover your junk with more than some tighty whities and chinos and start using the HappySac. While it won't necessarily stop moist man muscles, it does wick away that moisture that those odor-causing bacteria have lined up to take a swim in. Close the pool and that ball stank is as good as gone.
Ladies love a man who understands good hygiene. While a good clean up before getting down and dirty is just good policy, you can simplify the process if smelly balls are made a non-issue with HappySac.
For more information on how this all works and why you should starting sacking up before shacking up, contact us at HappySac.